You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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