Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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