Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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