Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
