why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
