i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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