Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
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It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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