I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
you made out with another girl for some wings
Randomize
