just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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