Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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