Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Randomize
