we're blogging at a bar
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
