margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
