Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Ladies don't puke and tell
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
