He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
