So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
