I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize