The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
