There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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