Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
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I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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