I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
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