I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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