I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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