Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Randomize
