eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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