Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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