I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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