she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
