you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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