I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
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Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
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You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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