Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
