You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
