butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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