so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
