we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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