but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
