Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
