awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
