If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I AM VODKA MAN
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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