I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
