Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
