sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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