You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
