did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
He has the fingertips of a God
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