That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize