my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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