Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara