Texts From Last Night

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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.

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  (304): His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know. http://tfl.nu/hifx
  Replies (13) Good night (3780) Bad night (586)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?

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  (630): hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister? http://tfl.nu/p7gf
  Replies (15) Good night (5227) Bad night (1657)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.

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  (403): This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy. http://tfl.nu/kmxm
  Replies (36) Good night (1755) Bad night (4849)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...

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  (503): I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot... http://tfl.nu/6eyj
  Replies (14) Good night (590) Bad night (1410)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.

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  (517): Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door. http://tfl.nu/ryl2
  Replies (10) Good night (721) Bad night (1628)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.

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  (214): nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours. http://tfl.nu/u4n6
  Replies (4) Good night (663) Bad night (1546)
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  (310): View more from California

  Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.

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  (310): Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it. http://tfl.nu/jpod
  Replies (5) Good night (1170) Bad night (442)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.

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  (989): I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole. http://tfl.nu/vqh6
  Replies (4) Good night (859) Bad night (330)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.

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  (773): Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh. http://tfl.nu/c68d
  Replies (0) Good night (700) Bad night (361)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him

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  (443): I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him http://tfl.nu/mri0
  Replies (0) Good night (808) Bad night (330)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.

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  (540): Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit. http://tfl.nu/u4dw
  Replies (2) Good night (304) Bad night (640)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.

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  (937): I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies. http://tfl.nu/8j70
  Replies (2) Good night (308) Bad night (485)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote

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  (618): Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote http://tfl.nu/plk1
  Replies (4) Good night (500) Bad night (233)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too

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  (205): You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too http://tfl.nu/0dl3
  Replies (5) Good night (541) Bad night (235)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.

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  (713): Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application. http://tfl.nu/jvuq
  Replies (5) Good night (221) Bad night (587)

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