I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
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It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
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Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.