Texts From Last Night

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  (706): View more from Georgia

  I think I'm in Tiajuana

  (404): View more from Georgia

  You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago

  (706): View more from Georgia

  I could be

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  (706): I think I'm in Tiajuana (404): You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago (706): I could be http://tfl.nu/4kta
  Replies (13) Good night (2297) Bad night (780)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit

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  (803): Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit http://tfl.nu/192j
  Replies (27) Good night (5085) Bad night (986)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.

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  (334): He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning. http://tfl.nu/odgl
  Replies (58) Good night (16808) Bad night (3838)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.

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  (484): so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey. http://tfl.nu/h1y9
  Replies (7) Good night (3514) Bad night (845)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night

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  (517): I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night http://tfl.nu/lvdh
  Replies (5) Good night (1646) Bad night (704)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.

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  (304): Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better. http://tfl.nu/8g47
  Replies (4) Good night (2506) Bad night (627)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?

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  (703): Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday? http://tfl.nu/wnf1
  Replies (8) Good night (1776) Bad night (725)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave

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  (404): I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave http://tfl.nu/c1xk
  Replies (4) Good night (1095) Bad night (729)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?

  (1-616): View more from Michigan

  i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.

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  (616): what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place? (1-616): i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day. http://tfl.nu/ba7u
  Replies (2) Good night (983) Bad night (355)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.

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  (901): Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life. http://tfl.nu/oxrc
  Replies (5) Good night (745) Bad night (502)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...

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  (317): I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras... http://tfl.nu/ubf3
  Replies (5) Good night (871) Bad night (391)
• Favorite

  (831): View more from California

  Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.

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  (831): Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success. http://tfl.nu/80xv
  Replies (1) Good night (526) Bad night (605)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?

  (770): View more from Georgia

  All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.

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  (404): Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse? (770): All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead. http://tfl.nu/buwi
  Replies (1) Good night (591) Bad night (454)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Bring breadsticks

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  (604): Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me (604): Bring breadsticks http://tfl.nu/llzg
  Replies (3) Good night (863) Bad night (220)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.

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  (850): There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it. http://tfl.nu/gs3q
  Replies (1) Good night (487) Bad night (136)

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