My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
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