there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
