You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
