We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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