We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
