ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
MIDGETS
????
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
