I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
