smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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