I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Randomize