you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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