make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
