I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize